Dear abandoned blog,
Tomorrow will be the start of the fourth week of third year, second semester of university.
Things are going very fast. Too fast. I'm being thrown into clinical school without being the least bit ready for it. I know, I know. Life's like that. We've got to learn to adapt. With my defected body, I think mentally defected also, I'm not able to cope with how fast things are going.
Just came back from Cambodia! It's been voted somewhere, I think trip advisor as the top location in Asia. I think. Yeah. Beautiful surreal sights rich with history. Temples and kingdoms dating back to the 10th century still standing strong. I wonder what's it like to live in a time like that? Do the people face as much stress as we do now?
I miss home. I miss home so much I want to quit. Sounds silly. No, I won't do it. But I miss home so much it aches. I miss my mommy. I miss being treated like a princess at home. A spoilt princess. I don't care. Mom said she's made home to comfortable for me to leave. What happens if I get married next time? I told her I'd run home every three days.
I'm blogging to keep my priorities straight. To help me reorganize my thoughts. Because I feel so reluctant to go back to JB and start clerking cases for bedside. (HAHA LAZY BUM) I need to remind myself why I chose this path. I want to master the art of healing, to alleviate pain and suffering in this world. Sounds so silly I struggle to answer the question "why do you want to be a doctor" when it's posed. But that is my pure intention of why I'm putting myself through this pressure.
Also, I'd want to be able to show to oppressed people that no one and nothing can stop you from doing what you want. No one. When I was sick, some people (not with bad intentions) made me feel that I had to lead my life a certain way and I had to give up my dreams. I want to inspire other people. By doing a 5k run in less than 35 mins, I want to show to myself that I'm able to do what I want to do, not being held back by circumstances. By studying medicine, I want to achieve my dream.
Sometimes I feel so reluctant to open up this blog, because I've posted a lot of stuff up here, some of them so negative. I've contemplated on removing them but I think that is what makes this blog so scared to me. It's what makes me who I am today. It's a tiny bit of my from my past, even though it only shows me at a certain mood or point of my life.
Welp, it's almost one. Time to hit the sack. Till we meet again.
Signing off.
