Ha... It worked! Yaay!!!
Just now can't login to facebook, Blogger not workin' properly [and I couldn't blog], Youtube not loading, MSN mailbox running slow and so on. Until I exited MSN and Skype, closed down all the windows and tabs except this one and it finally worked.
Today was not a good day for me. Don't get me started. I'd probably cry on the keyboard [kidding]. But today was BAD.
So I'd jsut blog about the last few days.
During the last few days, I realized something. That I can't live without, and I am totally addicted to chocolates. I can't remember a day without chocolates. Chocolates make me happy. It's like turning to drugs or alchohol but something that doesn't kill in a long run [probably put on a few kilos a month]. And now I'm starting to have a sore throat. Shit.
And American Idol! America voted Matt out this week. He sang good though. I like him. But he may not be good enough I guess... I like Kris XD. Despite people telling me that he sucks.
Friggin' lappie. URGH!!!
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Bloody Limewire not working. Geez.
''No internet connection''
IF THERE IS NO INTERNET CONNECTION WHY ARE FIREFOX AND MSN WORKING????!!!
Oh well...
Topics for NIE
Teams may focus on an issue/topic listed in the following (or a teenage angst issue of their choice):
1. Dealing with a jealous friend
2. Bullying
3. My parents, my friends?
4. Cliques in school
5. Favouritism at home and at school
6. Handling examination pressure
7. Internet addiction
8. Substance abuse
9. Teen dating versus studying
10. Smoking
11. Self-harming behaviours
12. Teens and body image
13. Teen suicide
14. Runaway teens
Lets see what I can relate to...
Cliques in school [err...]
FAVOURITISM AT HOME AND AT SCHOOL [DUH! That brat!]
Internet addiction [What am I doing right now?]
Teen dating versus studying [XD]
Self-harming behaviours [Believe me, I know more than you think I do.]
Reflects how negative I am.
Ahh... I'm fine with any of them except doing drugs and smoking.
Limewire still not working.
By the way, who knows how to do Dapatan Kajian for Geografi Folio and Elemen 2 for Sejarah Folio?
Anyway, Happy Birthday, WJ!
''No internet connection''
IF THERE IS NO INTERNET CONNECTION WHY ARE FIREFOX AND MSN WORKING????!!!
Oh well...
Topics for NIE
Teams may focus on an issue/topic listed in the following (or a teenage angst issue of their choice):
1. Dealing with a jealous friend
2. Bullying
3. My parents, my friends?
4. Cliques in school
5. Favouritism at home and at school
6. Handling examination pressure
7. Internet addiction
8. Substance abuse
9. Teen dating versus studying
10. Smoking
11. Self-harming behaviours
12. Teens and body image
13. Teen suicide
14. Runaway teens
Lets see what I can relate to...
Cliques in school [err...]
FAVOURITISM AT HOME AND AT SCHOOL [DUH! That brat!]
Internet addiction [What am I doing right now?]
Teen dating versus studying [XD]
Self-harming behaviours [Believe me, I know more than you think I do.]
Reflects how negative I am.
Ahh... I'm fine with any of them except doing drugs and smoking.
Limewire still not working.
By the way, who knows how to do Dapatan Kajian for Geografi Folio and Elemen 2 for Sejarah Folio?
Anyway, Happy Birthday, WJ!
Monday, April 27, 2009
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Finally. Been in front of the computer for quite a while now. My eyes are hurting.
Now this is what I have to say. BLOODY LAPTOP! AH, U DAMN FRIGGIN' COMPUTER! Have to freeze one second after every IM and every single CLICK. STUPID! USELESS!!! Time wasting. See what it is doing to me again? GAH! I've had enough! Shit. I've like been in front of the computer tryin' to download the songs I want and I only got one song after 2 hours. And what with the low disk space thingy popping up every hour reminding me that it has 0 MB of memory space left? I just deleted the softwares I don't use. Songs that I download go straight to my mp3. THEN WHAT WITH THE LOW DISK SPACE? So annoying.
And damn new version of MSN. Took up quite a lot of memory space. And so UN-user friendly.
DAMN KEYBOARD!
Now this is what I have to say. BLOODY LAPTOP! AH, U DAMN FRIGGIN' COMPUTER! Have to freeze one second after every IM and every single CLICK. STUPID! USELESS!!! Time wasting. See what it is doing to me again? GAH! I've had enough! Shit. I've like been in front of the computer tryin' to download the songs I want and I only got one song after 2 hours. And what with the low disk space thingy popping up every hour reminding me that it has 0 MB of memory space left? I just deleted the softwares I don't use. Songs that I download go straight to my mp3. THEN WHAT WITH THE LOW DISK SPACE? So annoying.
And damn new version of MSN. Took up quite a lot of memory space. And so UN-user friendly.
DAMN KEYBOARD!
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Woke up at 7 to the typical naggings of my grandaunt. Then she got mad and went downstairs. Realized what I had done, I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. And thoughts of the results slip just dominated my mind. Listened to some songs to calm myself down.
Went to school at 8:45. Papa didn't look happy but I don't know what he was thinking. He didn't really shout at me for the horrible results, but he was like 'How do you expect me to tell mommy about this? You tell her yourself.' And he wasted more time by suggesting that we take breakfast at the new vegetarian shop opposite school and went round to fetch grandaunt from the market. I was already running late. I nearly cried after I got the results. I mean, I got over it. But I don't know how my parents would react.
So at 9:30, I reached MBS. The gathering was quite interesting to me at the beginning because I've never been to a gathering before, but then it got kinda boring or maybe wu liao after that. The disco atmosphere gave me a headache. The flashing lights and loud music. Scouts from other schools were very 'high'. Especially the scouts of SMK St. Mark who came from Butterworth. The were like cheering away non-stop after every performance. Pity the MC. Saw some breakdancing, shuffle, some acting, singing and so on. 'We' danced to Marcarena. [I didn't. Hehe... I'm not good at dancing.]
Went to school at 8:45. Papa didn't look happy but I don't know what he was thinking. He didn't really shout at me for the horrible results, but he was like 'How do you expect me to tell mommy about this? You tell her yourself.' And he wasted more time by suggesting that we take breakfast at the new vegetarian shop opposite school and went round to fetch grandaunt from the market. I was already running late. I nearly cried after I got the results. I mean, I got over it. But I don't know how my parents would react.
So at 9:30, I reached MBS. The gathering was quite interesting to me at the beginning because I've never been to a gathering before, but then it got kinda boring or maybe wu liao after that. The disco atmosphere gave me a headache. The flashing lights and loud music. Scouts from other schools were very 'high'. Especially the scouts of SMK St. Mark who came from Butterworth. The were like cheering away non-stop after every performance. Pity the MC. Saw some breakdancing, shuffle, some acting, singing and so on. 'We' danced to Marcarena. [I didn't. Hehe... I'm not good at dancing.]
Friday, April 17, 2009
Blasted DVD player. I got frustrated and kept clicking the on/off button and it went... *BAM* A flicker on the screen and it went blank. It didn't work again ever since. MOVIES! I'll miss you! I'm soo good at destroying stuff. Yay me!!! Yay me for the rest of the year without a DVD player!
Anyways... I found the book that the Chinese teacher was talking about. The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. Reading it. I read a lot of self-help books but it seems like none really helped me.
*trying really hard not to remind myself about the result slip* *oh shit, I just did*
I'm moody these days. Like I'm in a good mood now. I wasn't like 5 minutes ago when my dad interupted my nap. And I wasn't in a good mood in the morning either. It's like up, down, up, down, lower, slightly higher, down again and up high. A roller coaster ride. I think it's because of my test results. It started from it. I hope it'll end by tomorrow.
I dunno how my parents will react when they see it. Kill me? Ground me? So I can miss the party? Damn... That sucks.
Anyways... I found the book that the Chinese teacher was talking about. The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. Reading it. I read a lot of self-help books but it seems like none really helped me.
*trying really hard not to remind myself about the result slip* *oh shit, I just did*
I'm moody these days. Like I'm in a good mood now. I wasn't like 5 minutes ago when my dad interupted my nap. And I wasn't in a good mood in the morning either. It's like up, down, up, down, lower, slightly higher, down again and up high. A roller coaster ride. I think it's because of my test results. It started from it. I hope it'll end by tomorrow.
I dunno how my parents will react when they see it. Kill me? Ground me? So I can miss the party? Damn... That sucks.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Lemme recall what happened today. Nothing much actually. The sports day rehersal just lasted for two periods but seemed like forever. Had to stand straight without moving. I'm so weak. Felt really uncomfortable after that. Regained strength after recess. Drew a rose during seni. And for science during the last period, learned that chicken egg is a hen's unfertilised ovum. Felt weird. Hens live to lay eggs everyday? What a boring life.
The Climb
I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"
Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking
But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb
The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going
And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on
'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody's gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!
Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa
Songwriters: Alexander, J; Mabe, J;
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Personality Test
Some of the descriptions below are written in the third person, others- in the second; it is all about you.
General Characteristics (gray table)
Regression + force + necessity of changes
You are afraid of being left behind, so you are impatiently demanding immediate satisfaction of your needs and demands.
Your Desired Objective
His need to feel more causative and to have a wider sphere of influence makes him restless and he is driven by his desires and hopes. May try to spread his activities over too wide a field.
Existing Situation
Sensitive; needs esthetic surroundings, or an equally sensitive and understanding partner with whom to share a warm intimacy.
Your Restrained Characteristics
You temporarily have to compromise, submit your intentions to the situation and put up with the demands of the environment. You understand that you must make concessions, but your obedience is temporary. The circumstances force you to compromise and put up with temporary deprivation. You hold back your hopes and demands, for a short time giving up the things you want the most.
Your Stress Sources
The existing situation is disagreeable. Has an unsatisfied need to ally himself with others whose standards are as high as his own, and to stand out from the rank and file. His control of his sensual instincts restricts his ability to give himself, but the resulting isolation leads to the urge to surrender and allow himself to merge with another. This disturbs him, as such instincts are regarded as weaknesses to be overcome; he feels that only by continued self-restraint can he hope to maintain his attitude of individual superiority. Wants to be loved or admired for himself alone; needs attention, recognition, and the esteem of others.
Your Actual Problem
Denotes an ambivalent attitude varying between an optimistic desire for fulfillment and a gloomy pessimism.
I took this personality test where I had to pick the colours from the colour I liked most to the least. So... Is it accurate?
Some of the descriptions below are written in the third person, others- in the second; it is all about you.
General Characteristics (gray table)
Regression + force + necessity of changes
You are afraid of being left behind, so you are impatiently demanding immediate satisfaction of your needs and demands.
Your Desired Objective
His need to feel more causative and to have a wider sphere of influence makes him restless and he is driven by his desires and hopes. May try to spread his activities over too wide a field.
Existing Situation
Sensitive; needs esthetic surroundings, or an equally sensitive and understanding partner with whom to share a warm intimacy.
Your Restrained Characteristics
You temporarily have to compromise, submit your intentions to the situation and put up with the demands of the environment. You understand that you must make concessions, but your obedience is temporary. The circumstances force you to compromise and put up with temporary deprivation. You hold back your hopes and demands, for a short time giving up the things you want the most.
Your Stress Sources
The existing situation is disagreeable. Has an unsatisfied need to ally himself with others whose standards are as high as his own, and to stand out from the rank and file. His control of his sensual instincts restricts his ability to give himself, but the resulting isolation leads to the urge to surrender and allow himself to merge with another. This disturbs him, as such instincts are regarded as weaknesses to be overcome; he feels that only by continued self-restraint can he hope to maintain his attitude of individual superiority. Wants to be loved or admired for himself alone; needs attention, recognition, and the esteem of others.
Your Actual Problem
Denotes an ambivalent attitude varying between an optimistic desire for fulfillment and a gloomy pessimism.
I took this personality test where I had to pick the colours from the colour I liked most to the least. So... Is it accurate?
Monday, April 13, 2009
Today was better. I felt much better after the weekend, despite knowing my position in the whole form. I got over it. That was fast.
So went to tuition after school. She was on skype with her husband today, as usual. She is preparing to go to NZ already. I know I used to say how much I hate her last time. Sometimes she criticizes me, drives me insane, make me feel like I want to murder her... But she still taught me for 5 years. And at the end of this year, she is going to migrate to Auckland. I will miss her though.
Ahh...
I don't wanna go to MBS gathering this Saturday. My dad will kill me for the report card. And the chances of me going out is near zero. *sigh*
So went to tuition after school. She was on skype with her husband today, as usual. She is preparing to go to NZ already. I know I used to say how much I hate her last time. Sometimes she criticizes me, drives me insane, make me feel like I want to murder her... But she still taught me for 5 years. And at the end of this year, she is going to migrate to Auckland. I will miss her though.
Ahh...
I don't wanna go to MBS gathering this Saturday. My dad will kill me for the report card. And the chances of me going out is near zero. *sigh*
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Okay, having a fun weekend. Hmm... Hours experimenting on HTML, finding the template, chatting away, having fun...
I can't do this for long. I know. I'll have to start studying. Yes. But gimme a break, will you? I've been so worn out. I just have one day off. Just one day!
That girl in the picture on your left is obviously not me. It just came along with the whole template and I'm too lazy to upload my photo. It's looks kida good though. So I'll just leave it like that for a while.
I can't do this for long. I know. I'll have to start studying. Yes. But gimme a break, will you? I've been so worn out. I just have one day off. Just one day!
That girl in the picture on your left is obviously not me. It just came along with the whole template and I'm too lazy to upload my photo. It's looks kida good though. So I'll just leave it like that for a while.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Another horrible day with school, lousy drivers who pointed their middle fingers at anyone when they had the chance [I'll never forget what that stupid guy did to my mom. And I'll never forget the old white Proton Waja that idiot drove and more importantly, that dimwitt.], people who sang 'f*ck you' in a nice, melodic tone to me [I didn't offend her. I think she probably sang it for fun. So vulgar.], *thinking for anything else to add*.
This is how the day started:
Woke up in the morning at about 5? Slept again thinking to myself that I would skip school today and slept until the alarm rang at 6:20. Went to school, celebrated Ye Sheng's birthday, miraculously, we didn't get caught. Teacher was so scared she asked us to whisper the birthday song. Ate the cake in class. Got through the day like that. Nothing special about anything. Oh yeah, registration for ASEAN scholarships closed today. Filled in the form but didn't have the guts to press 'submit'. Closed the window instead and went to sleep for three hours. I'll sure miss them guys if they go.
I figured that if I really submitted the form and with luck, I get chosen and it suddenly hits me how much I love staying here, I'll get myself blacklisted. But I don't think that I'll get picked. But still, I wouldn't want to take the risk because mom planned for me to go there after form 5. So I'll rather wait than ruin my own future.
So now that it is finally closed, I don't have a choice. I'll be staying right here and I have nowhere else to go. And I can stop telling myself that I have another choice now.
This is how the day started:
Woke up in the morning at about 5? Slept again thinking to myself that I would skip school today and slept until the alarm rang at 6:20. Went to school, celebrated Ye Sheng's birthday, miraculously, we didn't get caught. Teacher was so scared she asked us to whisper the birthday song. Ate the cake in class. Got through the day like that. Nothing special about anything. Oh yeah, registration for ASEAN scholarships closed today. Filled in the form but didn't have the guts to press 'submit'. Closed the window instead and went to sleep for three hours. I'll sure miss them guys if they go.
I figured that if I really submitted the form and with luck, I get chosen and it suddenly hits me how much I love staying here, I'll get myself blacklisted. But I don't think that I'll get picked. But still, I wouldn't want to take the risk because mom planned for me to go there after form 5. So I'll rather wait than ruin my own future.
So now that it is finally closed, I don't have a choice. I'll be staying right here and I have nowhere else to go. And I can stop telling myself that I have another choice now.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Finally in a not-so-bad mood. Actually I'm not feeling that good either. Just that I wouldn't swear in every single sentence I write that's all. That's considered good innit?
I have no idea why I'm in such a bad mood these days. It's like I don't have control over my own life anymore. The more I think of it, the more negative I become. So I'll just stop here for now.
So what do I do? Drown myself into books, activities, making myself really busy so I don't have time to slow things down and think.
I did actually blog this week though. I just didn't post it up. The moment I press the 'publish post' button, I find out that my internet isn't working. That's a good thing. They are really negative.
Cousin just came upstairs.
Don't feel like going to school tomorrow.
Just now went for Pandu Puteri. They taught us how to dance Macarena. [did i spell that correctly?] Anyway, they gave me a choice, either to dance or do a catwalk for the fashion show as they call it. I don't want both. I haven't danced since like forever and I'm NOT doing a catwalk. So they'd better find someone else.
So what I did this whole week-
Monday: School and tuition, as always
Tuesday: Went to support our school debators in the english debate in Hamid Khan
Wedneday: Forced my ass up to face another boring day of school, oh yeah, and Ye Sheng's b'day
Thursday: School, tuition
Friday: School, Pandu Puteri
Boring isn't it?
Self reminder: be independant!
I'll just stop for now. TTFN.
I have no idea why I'm in such a bad mood these days. It's like I don't have control over my own life anymore. The more I think of it, the more negative I become. So I'll just stop here for now.
So what do I do? Drown myself into books, activities, making myself really busy so I don't have time to slow things down and think.
I did actually blog this week though. I just didn't post it up. The moment I press the 'publish post' button, I find out that my internet isn't working. That's a good thing. They are really negative.
Cousin just came upstairs.
Don't feel like going to school tomorrow.
Just now went for Pandu Puteri. They taught us how to dance Macarena. [did i spell that correctly?] Anyway, they gave me a choice, either to dance or do a catwalk for the fashion show as they call it. I don't want both. I haven't danced since like forever and I'm NOT doing a catwalk. So they'd better find someone else.
So what I did this whole week-
Monday: School and tuition, as always
Tuesday: Went to support our school debators in the english debate in Hamid Khan
Wedneday: Forced my ass up to face another boring day of school, oh yeah, and Ye Sheng's b'day
Thursday: School, tuition
Friday: School, Pandu Puteri
Boring isn't it?
Self reminder: be independant!
I'll just stop for now. TTFN.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Having the time to blog. Kor Kor is coming out today. I don't know why I'm blogging about this. Maybe she's the only relative that really cares. Unlike the other ones.
Ok. Why don't i blog about why my mood is so bad these days.
1. My mom is forcing me to do a lot of exercises.
2. She threatens to take my cell away.
3. I don't get to use the computer unless for folios or research.
4. I don't get enough time to rest.
5. Homework and projects are piling up like hell.
6. I have to catch up on thursday's and yesterday's work and what they did in class.
7. I have no idea what to write for chinese essay and where to get BM magazine. I don't even know what magazine they used.
8. I'm currently suffering from low self esteem.
9. I'm about to give up on a lot of things.
10. I feel like I don't succeed in things that I do.
11. I don't think I'm born with any talents at all except to give up on things that I don't succeed in.
12. I'm still staying strong but I'm about to fall apart.
13. I'm not happy with what I have right now.
14. I can't think properly right now.
15. I'm very negative and I know that.
Aptitude or whatever. I don't think I have it. And neither do I have the atittude. I'm such a failure.
Shit. Shit Shit.
Sigh.
Ok. Why don't i blog about why my mood is so bad these days.
1. My mom is forcing me to do a lot of exercises.
2. She threatens to take my cell away.
3. I don't get to use the computer unless for folios or research.
4. I don't get enough time to rest.
5. Homework and projects are piling up like hell.
6. I have to catch up on thursday's and yesterday's work and what they did in class.
7. I have no idea what to write for chinese essay and where to get BM magazine. I don't even know what magazine they used.
8. I'm currently suffering from low self esteem.
9. I'm about to give up on a lot of things.
10. I feel like I don't succeed in things that I do.
11. I don't think I'm born with any talents at all except to give up on things that I don't succeed in.
12. I'm still staying strong but I'm about to fall apart.
13. I'm not happy with what I have right now.
14. I can't think properly right now.
15. I'm very negative and I know that.
Aptitude or whatever. I don't think I have it. And neither do I have the atittude. I'm such a failure.
Shit. Shit Shit.
Sigh.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Happy April Fool's Day everyone. Well, no huge pranks pulled on me, fortunately.
Anyway, I feel like giving up on the public speaking thingy but I don't want to embarrass myself. I can't possibly memorize every single word of the script I wrote. I'm gonna talk about happiness. But the script sucks. And if I dont memorize it in time, I'll get stage fright and forget everything and that makes it even more embarrassing for me.
Busy busy busy. Stay back in school from Tuesday until Friday.
Today was quite fun though. We didn't do anything much but we played 'jing gu bang'. We also got to eat free leftovers after the choral speaking teachers had their tea.
Anyway, I feel like giving up on the public speaking thingy but I don't want to embarrass myself. I can't possibly memorize every single word of the script I wrote. I'm gonna talk about happiness. But the script sucks. And if I dont memorize it in time, I'll get stage fright and forget everything and that makes it even more embarrassing for me.
Busy busy busy. Stay back in school from Tuesday until Friday.
Today was quite fun though. We didn't do anything much but we played 'jing gu bang'. We also got to eat free leftovers after the choral speaking teachers had their tea.
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